Freedom without cost
In a park in Bilbao, some fellow students and I wandered around a huge fountain that exhibited a magnificent water display. As I posed for a picture around the fountain, I noticed a couple kissing passionately and gazing into each other’s eyes. Behind them in the grass was another couple lying down, one on top of the other, laughing and talking as if no one were around. It seemed as though neither of them cared if anyone was watching or that they even felt ashamed for touching and kissing passionately. In Spain, it seemed that the people didn’t care if the world was watching; they had an openness I had never been exposed to before this 3-week trip to the Iberian Peninsula.
A couple sitting on a bench in Bilbao, Photo taken by Sarah apolinar
It might not seem like a big deal, but why didn’t they kiss and touch in the privacy of their own homes? As the weeks in Spain went by, I started to find out that couples in every city all over Spain were always that passionate toward one another in public. It was sweet and cute at first, but sometimes I thought they went a little too far. If they didn’t see any problems with displaying their affection, why should I? I asked Gerardo, a student on the trip with me, what he thought about the Public Display of Affection, and he said, “It makes me miss my loved ones, and I know that I couldn’t do that in the U.S., because people are so reserved. The Spanish people are just more open. They don’t care.”
Living here in America, you don’t see people making out and touching in public every day, probably because you can get into trouble here more often. Almost always someone will make a comment or groan toward your PDA (Public Display of Affection). Some mother with her two kids might tap you on the back and say, “Get a room!” Americans have a different view of a lot of things and when something is out of the ordinary, frankly, we don’t like it.
For instance, the gay issue in America is a big deal. Many people oppose same-sex marriage or same-sex anything. Being gay or lesbian in America is often not respected, and it is looked down upon. Gay marriage is outlawed in most states, and many gay activists are trying to change the law. In 2005, Spain’s government passed two laws, one legalizing gay marriage and another that allows gay couples to adopt children. This year, Spain had over two million people from across the globe attend Europride, a gay/lesbian Pride celebration in Madrid. Spain hosts a gay/lesbian pride event every year, but this year was the official event for all of Europe. People, gay and straight, arrived in the city for a big party to celebrate diversity and have a good time.
Gary, our tour guide, is straight, and he was having the time of his life celebrating Europride. He wanted to take us to the hottest spots in town. He yelled, “I love this place! You can only do this in Madrid!” He waved his arms up in the air to the beat of the music. It was a great experience to be in the large crowd. It was like being in a Utopia. Everyone got along; it seemed. No gay hate groups ruined the event or started riots. Everyone, gay or straight, white, brown or black, had the time of their lives. It was like the whole country of Spain got together as a family to celebrate diversity.
Gary, our tour guide, is straight, and he was having the time of his life celebrating Europride. He wanted to take us to the hottest spots in town. He yelled, “I love this place! You can only do this in Madrid!” He waved his arms up in the air to the beat of the music. It was a great experience to be in the large crowd. It was like being in a Utopia. Everyone got along; it seemed. No gay hate groups ruined the event or started riots. Everyone, gay or straight, white, brown or black, had the time of their lives. It was like the whole country of Spain got together as a family to celebrate diversity.
After the gay pride event, I sat down in my hotel room talking to my mother about the night’s events. After some questions, she finally asked the one I had been waiting for, because it’s so typical of her. “Sarah, did you drink a lot?” Since I tell my mother everything without hesitation, I answered, “No, Mom. I had four beers is all."
My mother disliked the very thought that I could buy alcohol in Spain without any hassle. Spain’s drinking age is 18, yet when you go to a local bar or club you don’t see any 18 year olds there. In fact, the crowd is usually in their 20s to 30s. Sometimes I felt as if we were out of place when we walked into a club. It’s like it’s unheard of to be 19 and at a club or a bar. Drinking is not that big of deal, except at dinner and siesta time, when you want to enjoy your tapas. When I asked Krystal, a fellow classmate how she felt about being able to buy alcohol she replied, “It felt cool, because I’ve never been able to buy alcohol or drink at all.” In America, binge drinking is a concern, but Spain doesn’t seem to have that problem.
Whether it’s underage drinking, being openly gay, or showing passionate affectionate in public, some things will be different in Spain than in the U.S. Their differences may in fact be their strengths. You learn to embrace the differences and see everything in a new perspective and then you become different in your own way. I loved feeling free and being able to look at someone and not judge them by how they love someone. Spain offers you a way to view the world in a different light and to allow yourself to become a part of this wonderful Utopia.